127. Vomiting and conflicts
DESCRIPTION: [details omitted for privacy] "I must do this way or that way? Should I select this or that? [..] I eat and vomit.. why? Why? [..]". Endless bombardment of such questions for about half an hour, without receiving any answer at all.
APPROACH: "I cannot help you [repeated continuously].. the answers are within you [repeated until it become possible to speak].. your questions presuppose that you must choose, but who told you that you must choose? Nobody does something at 100%, because there is always something of the opposite thing, and every thing that we do it is never complete, because, it we think about it, it would have been possible to do it more completely, so we did that thing, in part, and therefore we didn't do it in part.. it's as if we have a slider that shifts from 0 to 100, there are no two opposite things, mutually exclusive, but there is a slider that can move within that range.. it's a so obvious reality that nobody considers it, but physics teaches us that what we see is not a single force in the game, but it is only the final result of all the compounding forces, and when this resulting force inverts its direction actually nothing has changed, because it is just a new dynamic equilibrium between variable forces that are always active and present [..]".
RESULT: absolute immobility, glazed gaze, stunned facial expression, spontaneous repetition of the words "slider" and "resulting force" (like a person that is thinking out loud) mixed with other words, and her punctual request of letting her think without disturbance whenever I asked her what was happening.
UPDATE (2 months): she told me that she had many dreams, but strange dreams, because they ended differently from the usual, and they were good and not bad, and she told that she thought often to the slider but not to the food, and also the vomiting was no longer satisfactory for her, because she was unable to get that "vent pleasure", but, on the contrary, now to vomit was for her an "unpleasant waste of energy".. she felt "different and in peace", with the clear sensation that her life had changed quite "magically", that is suddenly. Only at the end she told me that she had eight months of weekly sessions with a rather costly private psychologist but without results: "talking about my problems has been useless". My final comment: "self-healing cannot be achieved by talking because it is an animal, biological, holistic thing".
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