122. Chronic self-aggression
DESCRIPTION: "I'm under analysis since twelve years, and I like psychology books.. I'm locked in a static situation, I'm always negative toward myself.. my body weight is not mine.. I'm fatigued.. my analyst referred me to you after a suggestion of my physician, because now I have also several organic problems and psychosomatic issues".
APPROACH: simple presentation of hypnosis as "a possible self-help because, despite a total frustration and lack of motivation, the need to do something about it is still there".
RESULT: in the first session, short report of the client: "during the days after our preliminary meeting I felt very strange, I would say euphoric, certainly different from before.. I'm feeling as if I'm loosing weight.. I wanted also to tell you that when I left your office, my mother was waiting me, and I found myself blocked, because I was unable to speak to her despite my efforts.. it has been very surprising, because when I was in your office I was perfectly able to talk.. this fact has amazed me.. since the next day, at work everybody noticed that I'm different.. at home I ruminated a lot, and I understood that I escape into the food because I'm afraid of loosing my dears.. well, I don't understand why all these new events happened, because we still have to start our work.. and that temporary block with my mother.. I cannot figure out any explanation for it"; my comment: "these are private things.. it's you the only one that does all the work.. when you left my office, evidently your unconscious mind has shown a complete unwillingness to talk specifically to your mother, and then your conscious mind has psychoanalyzed yourself at home during some auto-hypnosis.. note that these are facts, and not interpretations.. by the way, did you notice that also now you are again into a spontaneous trance? [She smiles a lot while becoming aware of her trance activity].. you know, during our first meeting I didn't say anything to you, but it was evident that you were into a trance, and that's why I was so amused when you were talking about your fears to go in a trance, and when you even asked if after a trance a person is still able to drive a car.. it has been very funny for me to hear those words from a person that had gone into a trance without any help and without any awareness"; immediate spontaneous emersion of images (hallucinatory activities), time distortion, and almost total loss of physical sensations; hypnotic utilization of the dissociation for a short and spontaneous unconscious self-hypnoanalysis about her fears, followed by assisted de-hypnosis. Second session: " I have interrupted my diet, and I have eaten a lot of junk food, but strangely my weight is still the same! And I don't have any longer those worries, and I'm feeling a lot more calm.. why?"; my answer: "how can I know? You are the one that does all the work!"; client's request of doing "a deep hypnosis on certain very secret things"; my proposal of indicating such things with common keywords that for me or others don't have any special meaning at all; physical and then mental focusing on each keyword, one after the other, in a cycle, with development of sleep, dissociation, and detachment; her comment: "I have felt myself into a dream.. not only my physical fatigue has gone, but I'm even feeling full of energy, like after an entire night of sleep". Third session: short positive report from the client ("the night after the last session I dreamed most beautiful things.. I heard a strong voice of a male that was telling me very pleasant things about me.. that was the best night of my life"), followed by a sudden development of a very sad and depressed mood, with an overwhelming flood of spontaneous self-regressions to life episodes which were believed solved, but which actually were still harassing her, with the consequence of a feeling of tremendous disgust against herself [details omitted for privacy]. Fourth session: appointment first booked by the client (with her idea of enhancing her internal positive voice), but then canceled; fifth (actually fourth) session: "after two weeks of dreams, disorientation, self-hypnosis, and similar things I thought that I was getting crazy because I endlessly continued to meditate and produce thoughts.. I was exhausted, but I didn't want to stop, and finally I told to my psychoanalyst that I don't need analysis any more, and that I don't want to dig into anything else.. you know, I have lost completely even my interest for those psychology books, and I'm rejecting them as if I had resentment against them.. now I think that I can be happy to be as I am, I accept myself, and I like myself, and if people don't like me, well, who cares.. I'm feeling like a winner.. I have defeated the fear of death and things of that sort, and this is giving me a big personal confidence.. it's like a rebirth.. now the idea of damaging myself is an extraneous thing, it's not my business, it's died.. I'm no longer on diet, and I eat a lot of chocolate because in any case the trousers that were too small for me now are large enough, hence.. go to hell, diet! Some day, maybe I will also quit smoking.. who knows!".
UPDATE (7 months): no further news.
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